The strive for independence and autonomy is one of the hallmarks of the human experience. The desire to make choices and control your environment is as true for children as it is for adults.
Sometimes, this desire to be in control can cause us to engage in actions that aren’t in the best interest of ourselves or others. For this reason, a certain level of cooperation is beneficial for existing in today’s society. While the level of cooperation expected of an individual can vary across cultures, situations will always arise that do not permit full control.
For folks on the autism spectrum, a lack of control can be an especially anxiety-inducing experience. The sensory differences or strong preferences held by some people with autism, coupled with difficulty in developing coping strategies, make navigating life in a world obsessed with novelty a daunting and stressful task.
As with any child, some resistance to cooperation through instruction following is expected. ABA therapy can help in the following ways:
- Teach the communication skills necessary to indicate what is causing distress
- Identify appropriate coping strategies and learn how to implement them to reduce stress
- Help parents and caregivers modify the way they interact with their child to promote cooperation, minimize triggers, and reduce anxiety
Sometimes, a child’s reaction to demands can be so extreme that they might be linked to co-occurring conditions such as Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) or Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD).
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA): A Profile within Autism
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is a specific profile within the autism spectrum. While PDA isn’t widely recognized in North America, considerable research into defining and treating PDA has been underway in the UK since the 1990s.
What sets this profile apart is “obsessive avoidance of the ordinary demands of everyday life” and an intense need to maintain control (PDA Society). To shed some light on what PDA feels like for the person experiencing it, individuals with PDA have referred to it as “Persistent Drive for Autonomy (PDA)” (ref: Embrace Autism).
The core difference between typical oppositional behavior and PDA is the underlying anxiety and the all-consuming nature of demand avoidance, present in almost every aspect of life.
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD): When Challenges Become Patterns
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is a behavioral disorder characterized by a consistent pattern of uncooperative, defiant, and hostile behavior toward authority figures. While many children exhibit occasional bouts of defiance, in ODD, these behaviors are persistent and go beyond what is typical for a child’s age and developmental level.
For autistic children, many factors contribute to behaviors that align with PDA or ODD including sensory defensiveness, communication difficulties, and rigid thinking patterns. Families can consult with a trained Psychologist for more information on PDA or ODD.
What Parents Can Do Now
Now that we understand some of the underlying causes of demand avoidance and opposition, we can discuss how ABA Therapy (ABA) can help! ABA is the science of learning and behavior that is backed by scientifically validated methods. ABA focuses on understanding the function (AKA motivation) of behaviors and on teaching skills that replace unwanted behaviors over time.
What families can do to support their child:
- Identify the Function: Work with your ABA team to identify the motivations behind the behavior. Motivation is not always as it seems!
- Recognize the Discomfort: Acknowledge when a task is hard and empathize when your child shows frustration. Your child may find it more difficult to communicate during moments of discomfort. Be patient and try to identify low-effort ways for them to indicate that they need help, such as hand signals or picture cards.
- Develop Communication Skills: Many defiant behaviors stem from an inability to effectively communicate needs or discomfort. Identify methods of communication that align with your child’s skills and consider a combination of approaches. Empower your child to ask for breaks, express preferences, or protest in acceptable ways.
- Emphasize Coping Strategies: Teach your child self-regulation techniques and coping strategies to manage anxiety and frustration. This might include deep breathing, sensory tools, or grounding techniques.
- Do not “Push Through”: The relationship between you and your child is essential to successful skill building. Meet your child where they are and assist by making the demand easier, offering choices, or helping. If able, drop the demand, and come back to it later if your child displays significant distress. Consider a more indirect approach to demands by posing the demand as a suggestion or by making the task look fun while modeling.
- Step by Step: Aim for small improvements in cooperation instead of leaps. Taking too large a step may lead to extreme emotional distress and significantly hinder progress in the long run. Gradually introducing demands in a supportive, low-pressure way, reduces anxiety over time.
- Celebrate Successes: Instead of focusing solely on problematic behaviors, reinforce desired behaviors. When a child complies with a request, uses a coping skill, or communicates effectively, reinforce those behaviors by following your child’s motivation and providing rewards that align with their desire. This will lead to increases in desired behaviors in the future!
You are not alone in this journey! ABA clinicians work with families to implement strategies at home and empower caregivers to manage challenging situations effectively. Aim to respond to demand avoidance in a way that doesn’t add to your child’s stress or anxiety and instead, leads to cooperation through mutual respect.
